You know what has been really difficult during this brief time that I’ve been battling breast cancer? It’s been watching my 10-year-old daughter blossom and bloom before my eyes. Her body is changing as much as mine. But she’s just starting on the path to womanhood and I feel like I’m at the end of the road. My daughter’s breasts are budding and mine have been removed. My daughter will soon be starting her menstrual period and mine may very well be ending because of the anti-estrogen drug, tamoxifen, that I will take for five years. Call me crazy, but my periods never bothered me. I actually looked forward to them. I know most women want them gone, but to me my period was the faithful visitor that reassured me that I was still a young, vital woman.
I already knew that I was approaching menopause. I was probably premenopausal when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, because my hormones had been tested and were out of whack. But I’m not prepared to let go of that part of myself. I was hoping to still have my period when my daughter got her first one. When I read that chemotherapy (which I thankfully avoided) and tamoxifen, which I am now taking, could put me into a medical menopause of sorts, I was greatly upset. In fact, it made me quite sad.
Besides worrying about surviving, I now worry about being less of a woman, or at least an altered woman. God willing, all of these alterations will be for the better, but they’re still scary. I have never taken any medication for any length of time and now I have to take tamoxifen for five years. This drug has a long list of side effects that I have to keep in mind, yet not focus on, or they’ll simply overwhelm me. I have to keep reminding myself that the benefits outweigh the risks. I need to remember the pros and forget the cons.
It’s now been 10 days since I started on tamoxifen. So far, so good. I pray before I swallow each pill, which I take regularly in the afternoon with a meal. I have not noticed any side effects, but I’m already late for my monthly visitor. This could be the beginning of the end of that chapter of my life.
Tamoxifen is an oral drug that interferes with the activity of the female hormone, estrogen. ER+ (Estrogen receptor positive) breast cancer cells need estrogen to grow. Tamoxifen blocks the effects of estrogen on these cells. It has been used for more than 30 years to treat breast cancer by helping to prevent the original breast cancer from returning and helping to prevent the development of new breast cancers. It’s also used to reduce the risk of breast cancer in women who are at increased risk of developing the disease.
Common serious side effects of tamoxifen are blood clots, strokes, uterine cancer and cataracts. Other side effects of tamoxifen are similar to symptoms of menopause—hot flashes and vaginal discharge. Some women experience irregular menstrual periods, headaches, fatigue, nausea or vomiting, vaginal dryness, and skin rash. Tamoxifen does not cause younger women, who are in their 30’s, to begin menopause. It can, however, nudge towards menopause, those who are at the age when it would naturally begin.
[Reply]